Failure

Some will go their whole life without experiencing failure. To do that, however, one must never take a risk great enough that the sterling and marvelous feeling of success would drive you to not settle for the failure previously encountered. Today I tasted failure first hand, and possibly for the first time.

I had my follow-up PFT (physical fitness test) for the Marines today. Before we dive into that, let me tell you what is the criteria and how my first one went.

PFT Criteria:

• Max Pull up Test (5 pts per pull up, max 20 pull ups)
• Example: 15 pull ups x 5 pts = 75pts
  
• 2:00 Time Crunches (1 pt per crunch, max 100 crunches)
• Example: 75 crunches x 1 pt = 75 pts
  
• Timed 3 mile run (18:00 = 100 pts, every set of 10 sec after = -1)
• Example: 22:02 or 18:00 + 242 sec (round up to 250) = 75 pts
• Passing score = 225+ pts

With that being said, here is how my first test went:

• Pull ups = 14 = 70pts
• Crunches = 80 = 80pts
• 3 mile run = 20:23 = 85pts
• Total = 230 pts = PASS
  

I passed it, maybe not with flying colors, but nonetheless I passed. On top of that, I had only trained for one week prior to the test. This was back in June and the rules say I need to pass a PFT within 3 weeks of my departure (Oct. 3). But, when I saw this score I thought it would be easy to improve with some training. So I trained, I ran, lifted, and did crunches. I also made the switch in eating which netted me an 8lbs weight reduction. After all of that I thought I would just tear through this PFT. I was wrong.

Here is how today's went:

• Pull ups = 10 = 50pts
• Crunches = 79 = 79pts
• 3 mile run = 22:37 = 71pts
• Total = 200pts = FAIL

I was left feeling many different emotions. First and foremost I was embarrassed more than I have ever been embarrassed before. I was in front of a 37 year old Gunnery Sgt. that I had never met before, completely exhausted after a test in which he later informed me he scored better on last week. Second, I was crushed. I had trained pretty seriously and made some big life changes for this and it seems all-for-none. I have had bad tapers in swimming before, but there was always something I improved on. In this test I had dropped in everything! I had never felt that in my life. And finally, I was lost. What was I supposed to do. I needed to pass this test to get into what I had been banking on as the career for the next 20 years.

After the test, while I was still sweating profusely, I had to fill out some pre-shipment forms. Kind of felt like salt was being rubbed in the wounds that were torn open over the last 35 minutes. And there was plenty of salt to be rubbed. In the middle of my filling out the forms, there was a phone call. It was my recruiter Master Sgt. Rohm. I had to explain to him how I was dumbfounded by my results. He doubtfully asked about my training and I explained to him how I was training regularly and monitoring my diet. He said not to worry because he will be out here in a week to retest me in the morning without me having to drive 3.5 hours to MEPS.

Maybe that will do it. I hope that will do it. My body is killing right now, shins feel like they going to burst out of my skin, but I suppose I will hurt like this in OCS as well so that is no excuse. I have one more chance to prove that I am worth my salt to the USMC and I have no feeling of failure.